Confusion

I'm looking after my friends' cats, and I was in their wild garden with their two beautiful burmese, then I was wandering home and came across the grave yard. I paused for a moment, but I went in and sat listening to some Joni Mitchell. I shed a tear, but I just don't know what to do? One moment I'm carrying on, and just getting over it, the next, I can't breathe and I cry until my eyes sting. I'm living in dream world at the moment

Dear Diary,

 I've decided to start a blog/diary because it's supposed to be good for you to let things out. I decided to start today, because yesterday, my grandma passed away from cancer. I've also made this the first day of me being theist, and not agnostic. my reasoning is that my grandpa - a minister - was praying for her not to suffer, and she went. God must have heard him.